I Am Stronger Than You

Did I ever really mean something to you?

If I did,

you have a shit way of showing it.

You somehow convinced me that I was the problem,

that I was too emotional,

too sensitive.

I know that I am not 'too emotional' or 'too sensitive'

you just have such a little capacity for feelings in you.

It is not my fault that you can't handle feelings,

it is not my fault that you can't handle what's going on in your life.

I am not the reason we are over,

you are.

You and your inability to show your emotions,

because you think it somehow makes you less strong.

That's probably why you looked down on me,

you thought I was weak.

But I am strong,

I know this for a fact.

Everything that has happened to me has made me strong,

and it's also made me emotional.

I want to hug my friends when I see them.

I want to talk about my feelings and understand them.

I have been told that I have 'the emotional intelligence of a retired therapist'

and I have no idea what that means,

but I know for a fact that it does not mean I am weak.

I am stronger than you.

That's probably difficult to hear but it's true.

I am stronger than you.

You have no idea what is going on in your head,

you have no idea why you are doing the things you are doing.

But I do.

I know that you have anger issues because your mom never listens to you,

I know that you can't show your emotions because you don't want to be seen as weak.

I know that your relationship with your mother is hanging on by a thread,

I know this because you would call me saying you hated her,

and that you had accidentally broken my hairbrush because you threw it across the room.

I know that every time your mom does something remotely motherly,

you applaud,

you jump for joy.

I am stronger than you because I can see what you can't.

If you had to live a day in my shoes, you would give up by noon.

I used to love you,

and I used to think,

you know someday she will realize that it's ok to be sad that your mother is a narcissist.

It's ok to be upset that she never listened to you when you were a kid unless you were throwing a tantrum.

Maybe I am not the weak one,

maybe I am stronger than you will ever be able to comprehend.

No, not maybe,

I am stronger than you will ever be.

I hope one day you will realize that you need help.

I hope you will get the help you need,

so that you can finally be as strong as me.