Wanted

Locked in a basement,

of my lamentation.

People love me,

I feel like I can't breathe.

Tears of wonder,

mask my hunger.

To be someone different,

and not be so ignorant.

I feel like I'm falling,

down a rabbit hole of nothing.

Nothing.

I want to be with you,

but not if you want me to.

I want to scale your body,

but not if you want me badly.

I want to be wanted,

but also to be hunted,

but also to be gutted,

and left for dead.

Does that make me,

less likely,

to be wed.

Trapped in my body,

wanting to be lovely.

People don't get me,

like I want them to.

Tortured breathing,

leads to seething,

leads to dreaming,

instead of being.

Chained to a burning fence,

but I catch a glimpse,

of life on the other side,

and I want it.

I want to be with you,

but not if you want me to.

I want to scale your body,

but not if you want me badly.

I want to be wanted,

but also to be hunted,

but also to be gutted,

and left for dead.

Does that make me,

less likely,

to be wed.

If you want me,

never tell me.

Leave me wondering,

and I'll be lost in fluctuation,

thinking about castration.

But at least I'm thinking,

at least I'm thinking.

I want to be with you,

but not if you want me to.

I want to scale your body,

but not if you want me badly.

I want to be wanted,

but also to be hunted,

but also to be gutted,

and left for dead.

Does that make me,

less likely,

to be wed.