What He Did To Me

When I was eight,

the only thing I thought about was

how to convince my mom to stop for donuts on the way to school.

When I was eight,

I would pretend to be asleep in the car,

so my dad would have to carry me in.

Before that fateful december day,

the only thing I planned out

was what we would do at my birthday party.

Then that day hit,

like a 10 ton pound of bricks,

and I was never the same.

I walked in,

that doctors office,

and my mom had a work call,

that she took in the hall.

There was a monkey painted on the ceiling,

I layed down,

got into the gown,

and prepared for the examination.

I didn't know that the click I heard when I walked in,

was a lock spinning in the chestnut door.

I didn't know that the metal and the fabric riffling,

was the sound of a belt coming off.

I didn't know anything then,

and I knew less after.

He walked me out to my mom,

tears falling down my face.

He talked to her and said I got a shot,

and that's why I tasted salt.

We walked to the elvator,

but before we got there,

I looked around at that dimmly lit waiting room,

there were 6 other girls there.

I wondered if they got the same exam I did,

I truly believed thats what it was.

Until five years later,

talking to my friend on the phone,

she told me she had a doctors appointment the next week.

I told her be prepared,

and explained what I believed it entailed.

She looked horrified,

shock crossed her eyes,

and I wondered why.

Then I realized,

and I realized.

Everything I thought had been a lie,

I had blocked out the sounds,

and the smell.

But now I know them all too well.

I know everything that happened,

all too well.

I wish I didn't

remember anymore.

I wish I knew at the time,

that he was a bad guy

and I should've warned those little girls,

whose childhoods were taken,

prematurely,

just like he did to me.